On Friday, July 11th I woke up still pregnant. I was 38 and 3 days and had been dilated at least 4 cm for two weeks. My parents had been here for two weeks and I was starting to feel like a watched pot. I went for a walk down our long driveway, rested on the deck and then decided I should try and be productive so I took a shower and made my way to Costco before my midwife appointment at 2:50. I was tired but getting out of the house seemed better than sitting around waiting for something to happen.
At my appointment the midwife asked if I wanted to be checked and I did. She then proceeded to tell me that I was at 8 cm and she highly recommended that I not drive the 20 minutes home and that I should go over to labor and delivery. Here is the strange part – I was technically having contractions but was feeling no pain, only some pressure. This was not how my other labors felt! This could not really be it… After getting over the initial shock I called my husband, who was of course three towns over, my doula and photographer. I told the midwife I needed some time to process all this information and went to Whole Foods and bought pizza, cherries, chocolate cupcake and sparkling water. Lovely part of being in Boulder, every male I came in contact with at the store told me how beautiful I was, what girl doesn’t want to hear that!
Still in disbelief that I was in labor, my husband met me at the hospital lobby where we sat for a while talking about our day for about 15 minutes before heading up to labor and delivery and my mom went to my house to pick up my son and daughter. I just kept thinking, “I can’t be in labor, it doesn’t feel anything like my first two births.” After a quick check-in, I was put on a monitor for 20 minutes and had actual electronic data that I was in fact having contractions about three minutes apart.
Kim Rodgers of Brink Street Photography arrived and shortly after my doula, Amanda DeAngelis of Nine Birth Childbirth Services came, followed by my mom and two VERY excited kids. We sat around chatting, telling jokes and just waiting. It felt like I was just hanging out with my friends.
At my appointment earlier that afternoon stripping my membranes or breaking my water was discussed to speed up my labor. After talking about my options with my midwife we decided to walk around outside and have a chance to discuss what I wanted to do, if anything. My awesome nurse followed behind with all supplies she would need just in case I decided to have the baby outside. A beautiful storm was rolling in and we saw two golden eagles! The walk increased the pressure I was feeling and I felt at peace with the decision to have my water broken, knowing that I would still be allowed to labor however I wanted, even if there was meconium present.
Sometimes you just need your mom!
Still no labor pains. I know it sounds strange but I was hoping for some labor pains so I could physically connect what I was mentally being told. Once the water was broken the pressure increased and the urge to push came shortly after.
The work of a doula can be very different than what you expect! Amanda and the kids are drawing cards for the new baby and providing some much needed busy work.
I think I pushed for an hour and a half and in the end I felt I was hitting a wall and told myself that I was going to get this baby out in the next couple pushes. I remember the midwife pouring oil on the baby’s head during crowning and at the time it reminded me of baptism or ceremony to welcome the baby in this world. My husband held my hand, my kids watched with great interestest (saying some really hilarous things through out the evening) and I asked that Amanda be allowed to catch the baby if she wanted.
I passed out trying to go to the bathroom and had visions of talking with my oldest son. They got me in a wheelchair and I was talking with Kevin when I told the nurse I could feel some bleeding. I got back in to bed and started to pass large blood clots. For the rest of the night I was passing clots, passing out and feeling beat up with all the “massaging” my uterus was receiving. By morning I had lost 1.6 liters of blood, had a catheder, wore those annoying compression socks that fill with air, was extremely tired but doing much better. It was a long and confusing night after a surreal labor. I was happy when it was over, the bleeding had stopped and I could be moved over to the mom and baby wing and get some much needed rest! I am extremely happy with my choice in using Boulder Nurse Midwives, and especially happy that Kala was the midwife on-call that evening. One of the nurses on the mom and baby side of care kept telling me that she understood the night was long and hard and the first days of my son’s life were not as I planned and she was there to validate those feelings and tell me it was okay to feel upset. At first I brushed it off, but after the third time of her telling me that I heard and understood that it was okay to be upset that things were unexpected and harder.
I often tell my clients that what their previous births were like is not an indication of what this birth will be and I found myself telling myself the same thing that night. I don’t know why I couldn’t feel the contractions but am thankful that I had the energy after the birth to face what the evening brought me. Part of me really wanted to have a home birth and we were prepared for that to happen (especially since my other two labors were very fast), but I am so thankful that I was where I needed to be, that my whole birth team was there, and that my children were able to have this experience.
This was also the only birth I had photographed professionally and it was interesting being on the other side of the camera with an extremely camera-shy husband. It made me even more acutely aware how it is INCREDIBLY important to have professionals there that you trust and fits your family’s personality. I will never regret having Leo’s birth photographed and having an incredible doula there to care for not only me but my whole family during the birth!!!
Baby Leo looks nothing like my other kids did at birth, he has hair and dark skin. I knew that I wanted my other kids at the birth but really had no idea how special those memories (and photos) are to me. I am tearing up just typing that.
7 lbs 12 ounces
20 inches
For the past 11 years, I have been working to create a full-time, profitable photography…
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This is so beautiful Sarah, thank you for sharing. Congratulations to all of you, God Bless.