When we first moved to our house I planted a really big garden. I tried to tend to it and the plants grew but bore hardly any fruit. This year I let the garden become run over with weeds and planted three tomatoes and a cucumber in pots on our deck. My husband even laughed  and said that we have 10 acres and I have turned to container gardening. But here is the thing, my little container garden is flourishing. I have time to tend to and love on four plants. They are thriving and bring me happiness where my large garden brought me frustration, lots of weeds and little results.

Driving home today I realized that this is also what I have started to do with my business. I am learning that sometime less is more and results in a sweeter tomato. At a recent post partum visit with a doula/birth photography client/friend’s house I made mention of some well-known birth photographers and said something to the effect that they were the “real super star photographers, well-known in that genre.” She turned and looked at me and said, “I have no idea who those people are Sarah, but to me, you are the super star photographer.” I was shocked. I have spent so much time  worrying about my online presence, how many “likes” on Facebook and hearts in Instagram that I forgot that the real reason I started birth work was standing in front of me.

We all want validation and support when we pour our hearts into our work. But birth work can’t be about how popular you are online or a viral photo. Birth photography and doula work have to be about connecting with your client, building a relationship and creating art for them. Should birth be about about getting more likes, shares, retweets and shares, or is that more about your ego?  This was further reinforced when I was at the Birth Without Fear Meet up this past weekend and a woman came over to me and shared with me how much her friend loved having me at their birth and how amazing her photographs were. I can choose to let those types of connections feed me and let go of a shallower online life. No amount of online likes or followers can equal an honest connection made with a real person. I am not good at the online stuff and networking often feels empty to me, but I know I am good at meaningful connections with people, helping them see they are unique and their birth is important.

When I started my business I thought once I was “busy” I would be successful. Busy does not equal success. Working with clients that value my work, time and commitment to them and their birth means so much more and is worth so much more than glorifying busy. I have made the choice set limits, be more present with my young family and not allow my value to be determined by people that have never actually met me.

I don’t plan on deleting my Facebook account but I am choosing to look at it more as a tool rather than the whole world view. I love the connections I make with the women online and love the education, mentoring and support they have provided me. Being able to let go of needing to do more, post more, have more clients,  has shown that my work only gets better and easier when I allow it to unfold naturally.

My logo reminds me that the oak tree is slow to grow but the roots go deep and the wood is strong and solid. A faster growing tree can be tempting and it may provide much needed shade on beautiful sunny days but will it be able to weather a strong storm? I want to be the oak. I want to continue to grow but do so in a way that makes sense for me and my family.

I expect that each season that passes I will be able to add to my garden and one day it will flourish and everything will be delicious. My work and passion is ripening on the vine. I will be mighty.